Minute 019: Somebody Call the Police


HOST: Robert E G Black of The Mandy Sucks Minute Podcast

“Thanks for the lift, fellas!” says Thornhill to the police officers as they enter the Glen Cove police station. 

“Lieutenant, I want this man examined for driving while intoxicated,” says Sgt. Klinger. 

“Really,” says the lieutenant.

“You see, they tried to kill me!” slurs Thornhill. “now –  he won’t listen to me,” pointing at Klinger. “They’re in a big house. They tried to kill me!” 

“Alright,” says Klinger, “Let’s just go inside.”

“I don’t want to go inside,” says Thornhill. He looks at the other arresting officer. “Somebody call the police.”

“Come on,” says Klinger, tugging on Thornhill’s arm. “Come on, now.” 

“Oh, okay,” agrees Thornhill. 

Klinger walks Thornhill into a small courtroom. “Sit down,” says Klinger.

“I don’t want to sit down,” says Thornhill, but does so, anyway. “I’m perfectly alright, see? We’ll get ’em. We’ll throw the book at’em!” Roger lays down on a court bench. “Assault and kidnapping! Assault with a gun and a bourbon and a sports car. We’ll get ’em!” 

“You’ll be alright after a good night’s sleep,” says Klinger. “We got a nice cell, all made up and waiting.” 

“I don’t want a cell, I want a policeman!” says Thornhill.

The other officer walks into the courtroom. “The car was just reported stolen.”

“Uh-huh,” says Klinger, looking at Thornhill.

“Mrs. Babson, up on Twining Road,” explains the other police office.

“I gotta call someone,” says Thornhill. “Where’s the phone?”

“You’re allowed one call,” says Klinger, helping Roger to his feet. 

In This Episode:

  • Cary Grant    as Roger O. Thornhill
  • John Beradino    as Sgt. Emile Klinger
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