THIS WEEK’S HOSTS: Jeff Ferry and Chris Derkotch from The Jay and Silent Bob Minute

Roger paces in the hospital room, finding out that the door is locked,  while the radio announcer reports on the shooting at the lunchroom. 

“- moved to the Rapid City Hospoital in critical condition,” says the announcer, “has been tentatively identified as an employee of the federal government. The tragedy developed with startling suddenness. Chris Senson, a busboy in the Mount Rushmore cafeteria, stated that he heard voices raised in–“

Roger switches the radio off. He hears someone outside unlocking his door, and quickly jumps into his bed. 

 The Professor enters, with clothing boxes. “Here we are,” he says. 

“Hello,” says Roger. 

“Slacks, and a shirt – – and these,” says The Professor, holding up a box of Florsheim shoes. 

“Thanks,” says Roger. Roger  combs his hair. 

“They’ll do for you around here,” says The Professor. “for the next couple of days. 

Roger stops combing his hair. “For the next couple of days?’ he asks. 

The Professor notices a large mark on Roger’s side. “Hey,” says The Professor, “what’s this?”

“Oh,” replies Roger, “That’s where I hit a chair during that phony fall in the cafeteria. You and your dopey schemes! Shootings!”

“Otherwise, feeling alright?” asks The Professor. 

“Oh, yeah, fine,” replies Roger. “considering your driver has a sledge hammer for a hand.”

“Yes, I’m sorry about that,” replies The Professor. 

“Oh, I guess that’s alright. I guess I deserved it,” replies Roger. “I guess I deserve that locked door, too.” 

“Well, if you were seen wandering,” says The Professor.

In This Episode:

  • Cary Grant     as Roger O. Thornhill
  • Leo G. Carroll     as The Professor
Scroll to top